did most of us here have fucked up childhoods?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by try, Oct 10, 2016.

  1. DeathAdder

    DeathAdder Death Head

    Feb 23, 2018
  2. NotSureWhy

    NotSureWhy Guest

    Good in some ways, most certainly can't complain compared to others.

    Parents generally ignored me and concentrated on my sister, which was psychologically damaging.

    Had road accident at the age of 17, in coma (head injury and no I don't have pics lol) for 3 weeks which took it's toll for quite some time, again more psychological than physical.

    Not seen my parents for over 5 years now, after physical fight with father! which was fucking surreal to say the least.

    Not been easy at times, but shit who said it was! and I can't complain mostly
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  3. Fa11n1

    Fa11n1 Death Addict

    Feb 5, 2018
    South America
    People always suddenly stumble up to something new that triggers a passion or an unexplored side of ourselves we did not know was there. I have no complaints of my upbringing. War and its aftermath brought this death numbness to me
  4. Kahoo_Sewako

    Kahoo_Sewako Drawing Blood

    Mar 29, 2017
    My childhood was awful. My mom suffered from severe depression and anxiety, so she was either sleeping or having massive panic attacks. By massive, I mean panic attacks that made her purple or red, almost or fainting, saying her goodbyes, all family was gathering and panicking because it looked more like heart attack than "just" mental disorder, and as everyone else adult was doing serious shit, like holding her when she had seizures, or getting her meds, I was always the only one to call 112 (emergency number in Europe) and as I saw her lying not even once on the carpet and barely breathing with purple face, I was like "please hurry up my mom is dying". I was 5-7 years old as it continued. Sometimes I was so fraightened of seeing my mother "dying" that I would go out and be too afraid to come back home in case she's dead. I stopped fearing that just after my own first panic attack at 7 years old, when I finally learned more about anxiety at the same time.

    My dad was never around, and when he was, he would cheat on my mother. I was bullied because of this, not even once beaten up in school. But I didn't care that much, cause mom used to beat the shit out of me, too. When I was around 9, I was molested first time. Around 10-11 my sister had car crash and barely survived, around the same time my dad tried to commit suicide, was diagnosed with schizophrenia and ended up in psychiatric ward, when I was 13, my mom ended up with lesbian lover and my dad left us for the first time. At 14 I was diagnosed with depression, self harm, then I was assaulted in a sexual manner 3 more times within one year, and that led to me having severe PTSD at 15.

    To be honest, I am still a child, I have mentality of a child, literally. I never grew up emotionally. So, shit, I still have shitty childhood :D
  5. Urian

    Urian Deathling

    Mar 4, 2018
    The Netherlands
    I think its pretty natural to be interested in this or like this kinda stuff.
    I think our soscieties have gone a tad bit soft over the centuries, cant show your primal side anymore even though everyone has it.
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  6. Shacov

    Shacov Drawing Blood VIP

    Dec 16, 2017
    Well, in comparison to other people here it wasn't that bad. I was molested at one point though, Dad has a violent temper, Sis and Mum have severe mental health problems. Although I'd say I enjoyed about 98% of it (my family managed to keep their shit under control a lot of the time), just the bad stuff, compared to the norm, was really fucked.
  7. PaulNewman

    PaulNewman Death Head

    Feb 7, 2017
    Pine Bluff, Arkansas
    "Fucked up"? Define "fucked up". "Empty" for sure. "Bleak" too.
    My father, like me today, was a wage slave and heavy drinker who was the laughing stock of my hometown. He had a nickname reserved for him - "Red Faced Ron". He had a knack for violent confrontation, and he still has the scars to prove it. As far as I know, he only laid his hands on my mother twice. I was less fortunate. Got whipped something fierce when he felt as if he had the excuse to do just that.
    I WAS lucky enough to flee town for the "bright lights of Charlottesville, Virginia" and that's thanks in part to my dedication to studying. Relentless devotion to academics earned me a Bachelor's degree in Business. I returned to Arkansas to be closer to my family, and to start one of my own. This was around the time that my side interest in "gore" began to blossom. I graduated in 2005 and bought my gf with me. We married, raised three boys, moved into a modest one-story household on the outskirts of Little Rock.
    Flash forward to 2011. My oldest was four, and youngest just 11 months. Discontent and disillusion with my "CFO" position at a Little Rock used-car dealership turned me to the fine art of "bar-hopping" and boozing. I was a regular at a popular Irish pub on the north end of town. My bossman caught wind of this and demoted me to a "rank and file" salesman position. Kelsey caught wind of this and filed for divorce. This was in the summer of 2013. We share joint custody to this date.
    So it was a cycle, from "bleak and grim" to "promising" to "near-perfect" and back to what you would call "bleak and grim".
    But I've heard worse stories. I guess I'm doing fine for myself.
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  8. MHarker

    MHarker New Member

    May 7, 2018
    Not a fuckep up childhood, but for sure not a regular one. My parents used to work for the “investigation” police and always took me to spend the day with them at the police station. And since I live in Brazil you can imagine how much violence I’ve seen as a kid in that place. My mom used to show me pictures of dead people as it was nothing hahaha Before she was a police officer, she used to work in a morgue. Thank you, mom hahahahaha
    Last edited: May 11, 2018
  9. Shacov

    Shacov Drawing Blood VIP

    Dec 16, 2017
    How did the stuff you seen in the investigation building compare to the types of things seen here?
  10. MHarker

    MHarker New Member

    May 7, 2018
    I live in the southside of Brazil and mosf of the brazilian stuff posted here are from the north, which is very different from here. But years ago it was pretty common that people that needed to go to a real jail, just stayed arrested in the police station for a long time. It’s illegal to do that because it’s not a safe place since it’s made for prisoners to stay there for a short time. So, many times I’ve seen rebellions and killings, or just policeman beating prisoners up.

    I remember one day that my mom was investigating the death of a woman that was thrown from a building and she took me to see me the dead body in the crime scene.

    I think I don’t get shocked at all with death seen here because I can relate them somehow with my childhood, I’ve seen it all. It feels a bit strange to type that, but that’s how I feel.

    (Sorry about my english, as I said, it’s not my first language)
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  11. BlazzingDorito

    BlazzingDorito New Member

    Jul 12, 2018
    Las Vegas
    Was bullied by people I thought were friends. Molested when I was 6. And more. Pretty fucked yea
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  12. Necrodolly

    Necrodolly Drawing Blood

    Aug 3, 2018
  13. Perfectcrime

    Perfectcrime Death Addict

    May 31, 2017
    Yeah I had a pretty fucked up life...but I'm here and I survived that's all that matters.
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  14. Benevolent Being

    Benevolent Being Drawing Blood

    Dec 16, 2017
    Southern Hemisphere
    Yes, I had an extremely abusive childhood, one that I remember being terrified to live in, every day. Physical and sexual violence and emotional and mental torture. I'm not going to elaborate too much but suffice to say it's surprising I'm still here today. Unfortunately from this I carry many scars and baggage. Sifting through this minefield with a professional takes a lot of time and hard work. My sister killed herself last year and I was very close to following her earlier this year. Now I am in rehab and getting as much support as humanely possible.
    (sorry, I write really badly)
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  15. XSFG

    XSFG Jester of Death Addict

    Jul 17, 2018
    It's cool, mine was a goddamn nightmare. Eminem makes me laugh talking about his. I think, "that sounds fucking great."
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  16. Hoar

    Hoar Drawing Blood

    Mar 31, 2018
    Don't most pple have fucked up childhoods? I bet a lot of pple don't ever talk about it. That's how my family is. My dad left to save himself and left us kids to deal with shit on our own. Even when we begged to go with him. I spent a lot of school night's up e making sure my mom wasn't fighting with someone and getting hurt, falling down and getting hurt and picking burning cigarettes out of her hand when she passed the fuck out.

    Years before that his two nephews several years older were doin shit that I guess is normal for kids? There was also this older man, an old skeeze, who done something to me and I remember going to this guys home, which was a rickety old shack , a fucking hovel. There were explicit porn pictures ripped from magazines plastered all over the walls. Spent a lot of time lately asking myself why my dad would have brought me into a place like that, ya know?

    As fucked up as at is that's just a small sliver. Unfortunately my mom's mom fucked in the head too.

    It's hard to talk about because we DONT talk about it, any of it. It there, it's real. But never bring it up. I hate living with these memories and being denied to talk about them. I think that's what bothers me the most . Being silenced. And ignored. Shunned.

    Another kicker for me was my parents letting shit happen so much with so many. Very apathetic. I've had a few cunts call me a mean person. I can come off that way but you know what I've had to protect myself my whole life no matter what it was. Very few pple stood up for me. I live in the same town all this time and to this day there are locals who know my history and they still try to pull shit on me knowing that I still don't have that support system most pple have. Unfortunately any, few pple who did give a fuck are long gone. Unfortunately now I have to protect the same pple who ignored my needs so much. if I am in fact mean this is why. At least i won't climb no clock tower and peck off innocent people .
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  17. Smudge51

    Smudge51 Death Addict

    Jan 12, 2018
    United kingdom
    If u looked at my upbringing u would say it was normal it wasn't bullied for years until he woke up in hospital with a broken jaw n teeth missing I ha e suppressed my anger but it harder as I get older but hey
  18. killermfkaty

    killermfkaty Deathling

    Sep 5, 2018

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