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Discussion in 'Suicide' started by Zeus, Jan 2, 2017.
Wow. Just wow.
anyone knows this ringtone name?
I joined on this forum just for Dolly, of who's death really affected me.
Do not think that young people are more affected by suicidal desires, because of their diverse problems, he is certain that it is very often the starting point of a long, long fight for life. It is exactly what happened to me, at the age of 15 years, the desire of suicides arrived, because I had no purpose in life, my family is rather poor, and today I am 40 years old and these suicidal thoughts never left me really. Nevertheless, I have a house, I am married, I don't drink alcohol and I'm not a drug-addict, I work for my money, having paid my bills, its still hard to pay the gas for the car to go to the work. I have no children because I dislike my country "France" (country the future of which is very uncertain) I like the USA and Canada ONLY, but I still have no money to live there or simply to travel there.
You will tell me "That it could be worst", I would answer you "yes", but the ideas of suicide never leaves me, we can have a good life, it will change nothing, my brother-in-law is an example, at 50 years, he hung himself (2 years ago) while he had everything, he was a boss of his company, he had a lot of money, but he had an internal problem, into the head, simply.
In December, 2016 my dog of 9 years that I loved as the son that I have never had, died from a heart attack + pulmonary embolism in my arms at 6:00 am, thus my morale fell at the lowest in December, at the beginning of January, I discovered the horrible story of Katelyn which depleted what little morale I had left.
I don't know why I tell you all this, certainly that I am as Kate, nobody listening of my family, but the problem is that we do not want to speak about this kind of problem to family, until the day when the evil arrives and it amazes everybody, it happened also for Katelyn, the many users of Internet have seen the demands of help but who stayed without answer.
Kate needed urgently a real family, so that her adolescence is made in better conditions, It is the only solution which would have decreased or deleted these suicidal thoughts, and not the Prozac treatment!! I had this f*cking treatment (Prozac) during my adolescence, it was worst than before! She was so intelligent, beautiful and talented, it is an enormous loss.
The death in itself is not serious, the death is only the beginning of the real life.
A woman writer wrote:
" We are not human beings living an extraordinary experience(the life), but extraordinary beings living a human experience. "
Sorry for this very long message without really being of interest to you. Thank you to all that have read my post.
R.I.P. pretty Dolly, I ask God to meet you soon in the heaven.
Sorry for the bad translation, I used an online translator to write you and I also corrected later.
I made a small video for Katelyne, it's a little thing, but I wanted to do it.
I joined the forum for Katie as well. Thank you for telling us all that is going on with you. It actually really means a lot to me that you would trust us with that. It certainly was a terrible loss but I hope you understand that you doing the same as Katelyn, would be a huge loss too. Someone needs you. Maybe someone you don't know yet,maybe you do, but to someone,you are very important. My deepest sympathy goes to you for the loss if your baby. I'm a dog person. Mostly because there were times where all I had was my dog. Its an unconditional love. The fact that it hurt you so much tells me that you're a genuinely good person. As far as I'm concerned, the world needs you. Again thank you for confiding in me. If you ever want to talk just message me.
Thank you for you supports, yes my dog(see my avatar)was as my own child, I see that it looked like in your.
My life had full of things difficult to surmount, suicides in my family, the mortal accident of motorcycle of one friends almost under my eyes (It's me who verified if he still lived).
But I am going to stop annoying you with my problems, let us stick to the topic who is Katelyn.
Not annoying me at all. Your dog is beautiful! His eyes made me smile. RIP Katelyn and your baby.
Sorry to hear about your dog mate, it sucks when your pets die, i have grieved for many dogs over the years and i will never forget a single one, the only thing that can bring me to tears is thinking of my old canine buddys that have long gone, the only bad thing about a dog is their short existence.
Yeah your dog looks awesome mate, just think of the good time that you had together.
Thanks Hoffman. He had a short one but a good life, with masters who gave him all love which he deserved.
To come back to the subject,
Why she said "I am sorry Ben"? She spoke about Ben Drowned?
Do you know why the video stops in 42 ' 51? Low battery in the mobile? Because normally the video should continue until somebody takes the mobile, no?
I agree with you 100%
I myself actually suffered from a deep depression from a young age. Mainly due to my father abusing me both physically and mentally. He would beat me and tell me that I was a "worthless little shit" and that he never wanted me which, when I was a little older, discovered was actually true. my mother confirmed it when she told me that she basically had me just so that my older brother would be distracted. My father refused to have another child, especially since the first child was unintentional to begin with.
So I grew older with all of that in my mind, and it festered. Then to add insult to injury I discovered that my mother believed depression was a sign of weakness in a person.
So as I said, it all festered and brewed inside me. and I searched for someone, anyone who would listen to me, believe me, and actually care.
Then one day in middle school I happened to find a girl who I thought actually cared about me.
Only to discover that she was just dating me to try and get her old boyfriend jealous and take her back. People thought I was ugly and annoying. I was neither of those, I was just different. but my story differs from Katie's at this point. Rather than becoming suicidal. The discovery that everyone who I thought was my friend was lying to me, pushed me past feeling suicidal.
Something inside of me broke and my emotions faded along with my ability to empathize. I also lost my ability to trust anything and anyone. I actually became incapable of having "faith", which I still can't do today. But that is because I believe that faith is kind of... well.... stupid.
I basically snapped and became a sociopath.
I spent the rest of my middle school years and the first half of my freshman year in high school feeling nothing and caring about no one. All I did was study and go to school, occasionally playing video games to relieve stress.
I made some friends in school, but I faked all outward emotions so I would seem normal.
but midway into my freshman year in HS, I met a girl. A girl who was going through the same emotions that I had felt before. I didn't think she deserved to have such dark thoughts, after all she was (and still is) extremely beautiful and incredibly intelligent (we both have the same IQ, 158). So I tried to help her feel better. we became friends. And soon enough, she began to somehow see what was really going on in my head, she began to see that I was emotionally empty. And she cared. I could see it in her eyes and hear it in the way that she spoke to me. After a time, she broke up with an abusive boyfriend and she actually started dating me. I didn't fully understand why, but overtime I suddenly began to... feel... and I felt happy. At one point she told me she loved me and that she wanted me to tell her everything about my life. When she said this, something happened in me. All of my emotions came flooding back at once. I turned into a crying mess, curled up in the fetal position with my head on her lap. I passed out after a moment. And when I came to, I felt..... idk how to describe it other than just "right".
To keep the story short.....ish.
She and I have been together for the past 8 years and are engaged.
I still have trouble feeling empathy for others, but I try my best.
I can feel empathy automatically for my beloved and also for children, but adults are another story.
I think Katie was almost like me, but didn't really have that last final push that would break her and push her past suicide.
And like me, all she needed was to find someone who could understand her and actually cared.
If only she would less often have baby-sat the children and to have gone more often to the school, beautiful as she was, she doubtless would quickly have found a real boy-friend, what would have changed everything in her. It is sad...
With Depression, you could say what if Katelyn did this or that she would still be alive. With Depression, most of the time it isn't an option she wanted to die and it was her choice to video it. It's not my place to judge her yes she was young only 12 years old she really didn't live long. Her Step Dad and Mother did not treat her very well and her bedroom I wouldn't want to live in it. The video was kind of hard to watch but then again it was Katelyn's choice. Like Katelyn said in the video I for one hope God forgave her in the choice she made.
Im new here my english may not be good
I just registered here I usually watch suicide videos for curiosity but this one really freaked me out, watching a girl suffer in silence and hangs herself is really disturbing.. I won't lie to you, after watching the video I couldn't sleep at all last night...
Even with what her family had to say about her nobody would of thought at that age she was a whore or was worthless.It is obvious that she felt nothing and made video's so people would listen to her.
Mom was an ass! Seriously, she knew NOTHING of her daughter until her death.
I guess I should stop watching these video's. We live in a sad society, and I had a lot of problems also with my family, and I tried to kill myself, but nothing is compared to suffering when nobody will help you..
I'm sorry you only watched a few minutes of her videos because they tell a story, her story. On more than one occasion she said her stepfather, Anthony Rogers, tried to rape her in the pool. Once to the camera and another time while in an argument with her mother. There is a channel on youtube called #JusticeForKatelyn that has many videos and I suggest watching the 3 hour one that took place Dec. 28.
Go ahead, spend some time with Katelyn and try to understand where her 12 year old mind was during her deep depression. She was not lazy - she watched her siblings all day. One day there wasn't enough food in the house to feed all 3 kids so she fed her siblings and didn't get to eat anything until supper time and she had 2 hotdogs. There was always yelling going on, threats of violence and the screaming kids day in and day out. She was smart, funny, talented and beautiful. I hope you take the time to get to know her before making conclusions.
I read an online newspaper page it said an autopsy was being performed on Katlyn then they got news Katlyn committed suicide by hanging herself now they knew what happened so they stopped the autopsy. The mom and step-dad would have cut the rope. Wouldn't it seem like evidence was trying to be covered up not telling officials you would think she had marks from the rope on her neck? I hope all people involved get what's coming to them.
I really can't bring myself to watch this. I hate watching videos like that. If only someone could have helped sooner
This is what she said, which I think is useful in showing her state of mind:
I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm not pretty enough
I'm sorry I came into your lives just to get out of it this quickly.
I'm sorry for everything
I'm really, truly sorry for everything, but I can't do this.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry Luke, that I wasn't the best for you.
I'm so sorry I just wasn't good enough.
I'm sorry Ben. I'm sorry Ben.
I'm sorry Lizzie that I hurt.
I'm sorry Regina that I always...that I wasn't strong enough.
I'm sorry everyone.
I'm sorry that I let this depression get to me. .
I'm sorry everyone, I'm really sorry.
I just don't deserve this; I don't deserve to live.
I'm sorry God. I'm sorry.
I know I'm making an act of selfishness, I'm so sorry everyone, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to all you guys who really liked me, who wanted me.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I seem like a whore, that I'm nothing but worthless. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry.
Why am I crying?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you have to see my suicide.
She had a lot of pressure for a girl of 12 going on 13. It's obvious she felt rejected and not good enough. Her videos tell a sad, sad story.
This poor girl never got the chance to be just a young kid, like go to school everyday, play with her friends have sleepovers etc and only needed to worry about things like making her bed and brushing her teeth, instead she had to be the responsible one in the household im sure every since her young siblings were born.
Its really sad that no one in her real world (except her 2 siblings) showed her love and made her feel important and genuinely wanted.
Both her parents and "step monster" failed her badly, not even the state (or extended family) stepped in and protected/saved her, im sure they knew about her even if it was only since her previous suicide attempt.
Her only joy in life was going online seeking friendship, attention and love that she so desperately craved.
After all she endured in her short life she still didnt have a mean bone in her, only love and the mindset that she was the one that failed/let everyone down..
I'm rewatching because I have heard unexplained noises starting at about 1 min 20 sec a sa