Post your Epic Fart Stories here!

Discussion in 'Jokes & Funny Stories' started by Woden, Feb 26, 2017.

  1. Woden

    Woden Super Moderator Staff Member VIP

    Nov 18, 2016
    Not me but a good buddy a few years ago. IHOP at 3 am Saturday night after a heavy night of drinking. Place is packed, we finish eating and are standing at the cash register while other friend is paying when buddy #1 says he's got a rip one. I say "shit in the microphone". He grabs the mic they use to call your name when there is a waiting list, squats in the perfect stance, and lets rip with an obnoxiously loud fart that is greatly amplified by the microphone and broadcast inside and out. The whole place that is full of loud drunks falls deathly silent. The chic working the register is staring in disbelief and manages to utter " I aint believing you farted in that microphone". I laughed so fucking hard I ended up in the parking lot tossing up the IHOP. I got home an hour or two later and was still laughing so hard when I got in bed I woke the wife up and had to tell her what happened in between laughs. I'm laughing my ass off right now just thinking about it.
  2. Hopedenial

    Hopedenial Death Addict

    Dec 3, 2016
    Houston, Tx
    I don't know how epic it was... not really much of a story either, but when I was a bit younger I slept with my girlfriend at the time for the first time at a friend's house after a party. Woke up the next morning not sure quite where I was and just ripped the biggest, longest fart of my life. Kinda came to and glanced over at her hoping to hell she was asleep. She of course was wide awake. Now I'm not saying it was the fart, but it was the shortest relationship I've ever had.
  3. Jbecker

    Jbecker Death Head

    Nov 24, 2016
    My fart turned into a shart today at work. I have a strong work ethic, so I kept on working until break to jettison my chonies. Went on with the day like nothing happened.

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